When a child is born, so is a mother. Your body, brain and emotions go through a sea-tide of change to prepare you for the upcoming responsibilities. However, these changes could be pleasant, surprising, weird or downright upsetting
A woman becomes a mother as soon as she conceives. And right from pregnancy, your body starts changing in ways that prepare you for the days to come. Women often exclaim and complain that “Motherhood changed everything”. But if you can understand that these changes are part of Mother Nature’s grand design, it will give you better insight into what you are going through.
Remember how you couldn’t sleep well during the final months of pregnancy? That was one way in which your body and brain prepared you for the sleepless nights ahead.
Some of the most fascinating changes occur in the brain. The emotional changes a new mother goes through are intense and powerful. These brain changes are prompted by the hormonal surge one experiences during pregnancy and the initial post-partum months. Right from pregnancy, activity increases in regions of the brain that control empathy, anxiety and social interaction. This is why pregnant women seek other women out for advice, read books on how to eat well, and exhibit ‘nesting syndrome’. This is when a woman feels a surge of energy and panic in the final weeks of her pregnancy, and she begins to clean the house and prepare her home for the arrival of the new baby. Researchers are particularly interested in the almond-shaped set of neurons in the brain, known as the amygdala. This area of the brain helps process memory and drives emotional reactions like fear, anxiety and aggression. Brain activity grows in this region in the weeks and months after the delivery. So your feelings of overwhelming love, fierce protectiveness and constant worry are all controlled by reactions in the brain. The cocktail of your pregnancy hormones excite the ‘motivation and reward’ centers of your brain. Just making eye contact with your baby, and speaking or cooing with him/her lights up the reward centers of your brain. It is an amazing feeling, and you remain motivated to look out for your baby’s best interest. You remain physically and emotionally engaged with the baby, in order to continue feeling the rush of these beautiful emotions wash over your entire being. You may even still be feeling ‘phantom kicks’ which simply do not exist!
Oxytocin, also known as the “love hormone”, surges through your body after the delivery, during breast feeding. even when you hear your baby cry. Seeing your baby for the first time. or just listening to a baby cry will make you lactate. In fact, scientists, psychologists and mothers alike will agree that becoming a parent, is a lot like falling in love! Men also experience similar changes in brain activity, but in a less intense manner, as a man’s body does not go through the hormonal upheaval that is necessary to trigger these brain reactions.
Some women do not experience this increased gray matter activity, making them prone to postpartum depression. They do not feel attached, enthusiastic or invested in their babies. In other cases, excessive brain activity can lead to anxiety and obsessive compulsive behavior.
But the brain and the psyche are not the only aspects of your being that change. There are plenty of unexpected and surprising changes that the body goes through as well.
A woman’s libido takes a nosedive in the months after delivery. Estrogen levels tank. Your vagina may feel lax and you will lack the necessary lubrication. Normal deliveries can cause a little relocation of your labia and perineum. If you needed an episiotomy, then the stitches will take time to heal, though fear of pain may last longer. Everything put together, can make sex painful and uncomfortable. It can take up to a year before you are in the mood again for foreplay and sex. In some women, it could take longer. This could add a severe strain on your marriage, especially when combined with fatigue, lack of privacy and the financial strains of raising a new baby. Your spouse may feel you are no longer the person he fell in love with. The good news is that things will get better. And your husband must understand that this does not change how you feel about him.
Your breast size fluctuates as well. They increase a cup size during pregnancy, grow even larger during the nursing months, and can later deflate when you wean your baby. Your breasts will sag more if you are overweight, an older mother or have had multiple deliveries. Your belly is not the same anymore either. The shape of your navel may have changed forever. A dark line appears at the navel and runs down to your pubis. This line is known as the Linea Nigra and it makes its first appearance during pregnancy. It fades after the delivery but may never completely disappear. Lower abdominal fat, combined with skin laxity makes it a lot harder to regain your pre-pregnancy toned belly.
You will notice skin and hair changes as well. The most prominent skin changes are the appearance of pimples, stretch marks and skin pigmentation. Hormonal changes, often combined with sunlight and genetic factors make you more prone to develop brown blotches on your face. You may develop new moles and freckles, while older freckles appear darker in color. Your armpits and private parts may appear darker. The nipples and areola grow larger and darker. in some cases, forever. If you are overweight, your legs may develop varicose veins and you may suffer from hemorrhoids. Some women develop episodes of night sweats in the weeks after the delivery. This is also because of the fall in estrogen levels soon after the delivery and is a lot like the hot flashes of menopause. While your hair grows long and remains thick and shiny during your pregnancy, it begins to fall out after the delivery. The hair fall generally begins around the 3rd or 4th month after delivery. On the other hand, a lot of women, especially older moms, will notice the appearance of facial hair after having a baby.
If you do not suffer from anaemia or thyroid disorders, your hair fall problems will stabilize in 6-9 months. Just focus on getting enough iron, Vitamin C and protein in your diet. Aim at losing your pregnancy weight in a slow, steady and healthy manner. Your hair shedding will definitely normalize without causing too much thinning or balding.
Older mothers or women with multiple children become prone to urinary incontinence and leakage. Practice your Kegel’s exercise every day during pregnancy. Continue to exercise your pelvic muscles after the delivery as well, once your stitches have dried and healed. A combination of episiotomy as well as hemorrhoids can leave you with a constipated gut. Drink plenty of water, have lots of fiber (oats, bran, raw vegetables and fruits), and have a little isabgol with warm milk at night, to relieve constipation.
Back pain is another common complaint. During pregnancy, your back is strained as it has to carry the extra weight of the baby. After the delivery again, the back muscles are strained once more as the abdominal muscles tighten. Contrary to popular opinion, having an epidural does NOT lead to a backache. Poor posture during pregnancy and breast-feeding can aggravate back related problems.
Week teeth and bleeding gums are another common concern. This is yet another reason to take enough calcium during pregnancy and after the delivery.
Your body and your heart will definitely change once you become a mother. Some of these changes are temporary and some of them may be permanent. Change is an integral part of life. Every woman goes through it. And it is all part of being a grown up. Having said that, motherhood still has the greatest potential influence on human life. You should be very proud of yourself and your body for successfully bringing a new life into this world. A strong woman does not lose herself after becoming a mother. She will rather finally find herself!
